Total Drama Life
by lmc3200
Summary: I suck ass at summaries. xD just come in and submit an application. or else. i'll sick my ninja-sea urchents on you :D
1. Apply!

You are sitting in your room. You flip the TV on to see the finale of Total Drama the Musical being reran. The final episode of the Total Drama Series. After the episode you check your email. There is one from : The monthly newsletter. You skim through it, and finally an article about Total Drama comes up. It goes on about the producers resigning, and that it's over. Then, in the next article, it says that Mark Thornton and Todd Kauffman are planning another season. They will begin writing it and producing it very soon. You read on more, and find out that there will be 12 new characters. You nearly faint, seeing the two words: Open Auditions. They are asking for applications of yourself saying why you should be on the show, audition tape, etc. etc. The 12 chosen, along with 4 fan favorites from seasons 1-3, will be brought to an estate somewhere in Muskoka. They will live there, confined to the estate, no leaving. Epic, painful challenges will take places, drama(obviously, check the title),and there can only be one winner. You almost fal out of your seat due to the intensity. You check your email again, and your friends have already heard. Now, send in your application for

Total

Drama

Life

APPLICATION:

NAME:

AGE:

STEREOTYPE:

PERSONALITY:

TALENT:

DARE(for another person, like on I Triple Dog Dare You episode):

FEAR(s):

HOW THEY GOT THE FEAR:

HAIR COLOR:

HAIR STYLE:

EYE COLOR:

EVERYDAY CLOTHES:

SWIMWEAR:

FORMAL:

UNDERWEAR:

SHOES:

ACCESSORIES:

LIKES:

DISLIKE:

PETS(at home):

SIBLINGS:

STRATEGY:

RELATIONSHIP:

WHAT TYPE(FOR LAST Q) OF PERSON?

MOST VALUABLE BELONGING:

RACE:

BODY TYPE(fat, skinny, athletic)

HEIGHT:

WHY SHOULD YOU BE ON THE SHOW:

AUDITION TAPE(Please do, better chance of getting in):

OTHER THINGS I SHOULD KNOW:


	2. Arrivals, Blood, and Pool Floaties

You wake up. Morning has arriven. The sun is just rising over the horizon. The clock…bong…bong…bong…you see a snow globe fall…and shatter.

CUT!

Ok, now time for the REAL story.

-the TDI theme song starts-

Chris(over the theme song)- Welcome, to the fourth season, of Total Drama! We've had three seasons already…Total Drama Island, Total Drama Action, and the most recent, Total Drama the Musical! But now, it's time for the fourth installment! So now get ready for,

Total

Drama

Life!

-tdi theme starts-

_Hey mom and dad, I'm doin' fine._

Zooms in on the house

_You guys are on my mind._

Zooms in the front door, shows Jack getting chased by vicious looking dog

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

Shows Lauren running around breaking stuff, and Sophie watching and shaking her head

_And now I think the answer's, plain to see_

Shows Courtney sleeping, Jack and Logan doing the whip cream- sneeze trick

_I wanna be, famous_

Shows Courtney chasing Jack and Logan

_I wanna live close to the sun_

Camera goes upstairs

_Pack your bags, 'cuz I've already won_

Shows Sophie writing in a diary, then shoving the camera away

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

Shows Eva lifting weights and Noah reading

_I'll get there one day_

Shows Sarah and Lillian having a arm wrestle

'_cuz I wanna be, famous_

Shows Courtney still chasing the two

_Na, Nanana, nana nana, nanananananaaaaa_

Shows Mick texting someone, and Trent trying to peer over the shoulder

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous_

Shows Trent running away crying for some reason

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous_

Shows everybody running up to the roof

_-whistling-_

Shows everybody looking at the sunset whistling

_-guitar riff-_

_-fades out-_

Chris: Yo! Welcome again, to Total, Drama, Life!

Chris: We have chosen 12 new victims, err, campers, to join 4 original campers for a thrilling new season!

Chris: The past 3 seasons have taken place on an island, a movie set and an airplane/all around the world. This season, it takes place right here, in this house! Err, estate, I guess. A four floor house, with a roof deck. These campers will be completely confined to the house, no leaving, except for when they get voted out, or the roof deck. Now, before I ramble even more, let's meet the first camper. The first four are all the returning campers. First, here comes Trent!

Trent: Hey Chris, great to see you man! (under breath) Not!

Chris: Thanks bro! Still having troubles with Gwen?

Trent: -sniffle- yeah.

Chris: That sucks dude. But do I care? Nope. Here comes Courtney!

Courtney: Hi Trent! Long time no see!

Trent: What about last season?

Courtney: Huh? Oh…right…awkward.

Chris: Yeah. Speed it up. The author doesn't like this either! Look, it's Noah!

Trent and Courtney: Noah? He's a fan favorite?

Chris: What? No. Oh wait, did I forget to mention? You two are the fan favorites, and the author selected two more.

Trent: That's not fair!

Noah: Oh yeah, I just got here. Let's not have me in the banter at all!

Courtney: Wait, so the author could have picked anyone! Even-

STOMP!

Courtney, Trent and Noah: EVA!

Eva: That's right. I'm back. So?!? You all like me, right?

Trent, Courtney, Noah: Oh yeah, yeah! -mutter-

Chris: Haha. You guys are hilarious. You can all go in now.

The four walk in.

Chris: Thank god! The corny banter is over!

Author: For now.

Chris: NAAAHHH! Anyhoo, here comes Nick.

Nick does a triple backflip off the bus and lands in a somersault.

Nick: Yo, dude! What up?

Chris: hey Nick! What's crackalackin'?

Nick: ………..never again.

Chris: Embarrassing. Hey! Look! A distraction named Jeremy!

Jeremy: Hi!

Nick: I see a little kid, but where's the dude?

Jeremy: I am the guy! My name's Jeremy and my mommie told me to be on my best behavior!

Nick: You let this kid in?

Chris: What the? I could have sworn the application said 18- Oh. Wait. Nope that's an 8. No wonder it was written in crayon.

Nick: Hey kid, what's up?

Jeremy: Hi!

Nick: Ok then…

Chris; next, is Lillian!

Lillian: Make way. Let me through. So this is it, huh? Nice house. Almost as big as my lake cabin.

Jeremy: You have a lake cabin?

Lillian: Who's this little cutie pie?

Jeremy: My name's Jeremy. And my mommie told me to be on my bestest behavior.

Lillian: Well if you aren't just the cutest kid I've ever seen! Now move.

Jeremy(to Nick): What a goober face.

Nick: -chuckles-

Chris: Quit it with the chit-chat, the writer sucks at writing it anyways! Hey everybody, it's Lauren!

Lauren: WAZZUP, CHRIS MACLEAN?!?

Chris: Yo, Lauren! What's the haps?

-silence-

Nick: ……..…never again.

Chris: Shut up. Go inside. Four people are waiting for you.

Jeremy: Wow wee! I can't wait for the first challenge! We'll win and make s'mores and tell stories and sing songs and hold hands and become the bestest of friends!

Chris: Yeah. No. Go.

The four walked inside.

Chris: Next arriving, is Logan!Logan: What up, Chris? -lights a smoke-

Chris: You 18?

Logan: As far as you know.

Chris: Just for the record, his application states he is legally 18, thus can smoke. The habits and actions of contestants on Total Drama Life are not necessarily influenced or promoted by us. They might, but not necessarily. Haha. (season two references ftw)

Chris: Hey! Wait! Your not allowed in there! Gahh!

Logan walks inside, leaving Chris alone.

Chris: Whatever, see if I care. Next is Mick!

Mick: Hey dude! Is my girlfriend here yet?

Chris: No…not yet. -chuckles-

Mick: Okay? -walks inside-

Chris: NO WAIT! GRRRR! -cough, cough- -straightens hair and shirt- Next, is Sophie!

Sophie: Hello! -walks inside-

Chris: Well. Okay then. Sophie everybody. -clap clap-

Chris: Next up, is Nicole!

Nicole pulls out a whiteboard and writes, "Hello. My name is Nicole. I am mute. Goodbye." and shows it to the camera. She proceeds to walk inside.

Chris: That was Nicole, the mute. Arriving out of the next bus, is Ryan!

Ryan: Hey.

Chris offers Ryan a high five, but he walks right by.

Chris: Excuse me?

Ryan: Your excused. -door shuts-

Chris: Damn. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the couch. Here comes Jack, our super fan.

Jack: OH MY GOD CHRIS! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!?!?!?!?!?!?

Chris: No. Go inside. Now.

Jack: OH MY GOD! HE USED HIS ANGRY VOICE ON ME! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Chris: -cough- nerd -cough-. Intern, bring me a cup of coffee!

Intern: Here's your coffee, sir.

Chris: Yeah. Now leave me! -sips- Ahh. Only two more to go. It's Melissa.

Melissa: Hey Chris! What's up dude?

Chris: Nothin' much! What's crackin wichu girl?

Nick(from off screen): Never again.

Melissa: I'm gonna go inside.

Chris: Ok. Last person! YES!!! Hereeeee comes Sarah!

Sarah: What's up, man? See ya later!

Sarah runs inside.

Chris: Okay then? New record for shortest arrival ever. Now, I can go nap. -dramatic before-commercial music plays- How will the new housemates adjust? Will they all rip each other's heads off? Will they bond? In Jeremy's words, will they make s'mores and tell stories and sing songs and hold hands and become the bestest of friends? Probably not. Find out, after this commercial break.

BUY BUY BUY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Camera shows the house, then flashes to the downstairs room, where all 16 housemates are sitting on couches, chairs, each other, etc. Chef appears and instructs them all about the house.

Chef: Listen up! Imma only say this once. The girls room, is on the third floor, left hand side, so use the steps illustrated there.

Chef points to the stairs.

Chef: Next, the boys room is on the other side of the third floor. Use those stairs.

Chef points to the other stairs, on the opposite side of the room.

Chef: The second floor is my kitchen, where you will eat 1-3 times a day. Use either staircase to get there. The fourth floor is the recreational room, which is locked, and only me and Chris have keys. On the roof is a wood patio. That is your only access to the outdoors.

Trent: wait, what?

Chef: You are confined to this joint.

Jeremy: Confined?

Logan: Joint?

Noah: This?

Chef: SHUT UP! The first floor, which we are on, is the challenge room. No one has been to this floor, due to its locked before the challenge starts.

Noah: What about right now?

Chef: Huh?

Noah: Right now. We are on the first floor, right, now.

Chef: Dumb kids. GO!

Noah: Go where?

Chef: TO YOUR ROOMS, MAGGOTS! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

They all sprinted to their rooms.

_The Girls Room, 7:45 PM_

Courtney: Bunk beds?

Eva: I get a top bunk!

Lauren: Bottom?

Eva: Sure. Whatever.

Eva and Lauren got the first set of beds.

Courtney: Top!

Sophie: Bottom?

Courtney: Sure, you seem like a normal person.

Courtney and Sophie got the next.

Nicole writes on her board, "I need a top!"

Melissa taps Nicole on the shoulder, and they walk over to another set of beds.

Sarah: Sets her stuff on last top bunk.

Lillian: Move your stuff. That spot is mine.

Sarah: No, it's mine.

Lillian: I called it!

Sarah: I was here first!

Sophie: GIRLS! STOP! We'll flip a coin. Heads, Lillian, Tails, Sarah.

The coin flips several times in mid air, landing on heads.

Lillian: Haha! Yes!

Sarah: -sigh- -moves stuff to bottom-

_Boys Room, 7:45 PM_

Trent: Top!

Noah: Bottom!

The two walk to a set.

Nick: Top.

Logan: Bottom.

Nick and Logan get the other set on the left side.

Jack: Hey Jeremy, top or bottom?

Jeremy: Bottom pwease.

Jack: Okay, I'll take top. -hangs up posters of Trent, Duncan and Tyler-

Trent: Jack, you a fan?

Jack: Only the biggest in the world! Can you sign my poster? -hands sharpie-

Trent: Sure, dude. -signs-

Jack: Thank you soooo much.

Trent: No problem.

Mick: I guess I'll take bottom?

Ryan: Sure. If your okay with the slight chance of my blood dripping on your face at night when I cut myself.

Mick: Bottom's all yours.

_Later, Boys Cabin, 9 PM_

You can hear beeps, and see a small light on from Mick's bunk.

Trent walks over and climbs up with him.

Trent: Girlfriend?

Mick: Oh…yeah…she applied to this show too…but only I made it. I think I was Chris screwing with us.

Trent: Yeah. I wish I could get a girlfriend.

Mick: Dude, you're Trent! I'd think you'd be getting girls by the dozen!

Trent: Well, I spent so much time obsessing over Gwen, I never realized how cool this other girl on the show was.

Mick: Who's that?

Trent: I can trust you, right?

Mick: Yeah.

Trent: -whisper-

Mick: Cool.

Trent: Think I got a shot?

Mick: Why not?

Trent: yeah. Well I'm gonna go back to bed.

Mick: Okay, see ya.

Trent climbs down off the bunk, and sees blood.

Trent: AHH! This wakes up all the guys, except for Jeremy, who is sucking his thumb and snuggling a teddy bear in Power Ranger pajamas.

Logan: What is it? -cracks knuckles-

Nick switches on the lights.

Jack: It's blood!

Mick: Holy shit he wasn't kidding about cutting himself! You emo!

Ryan: I think we all had that established. And I don't kid.

Logan: Well clean it up!

Ryan: Why should I? I'm the one with the knife!

Logan: -pulls out a switchblade- Are you?

Mick: Guys! Calm down. Let's all go back to bed.

Everyone: -mumble- -walks back to bed-

-camera zooms out to Chris on a pool floaty, in swim trunks-

Chris: What? Oh! -clears throat- So, at last our first episode is in the books. Tomorrow, the teams will be decided, and the first challenge will take place. Don't forget to tune in, for

Total

Drama

Life!


	3. Project Runaway

Chris: Last time, on Total Drama Life! Our 16 victims, err, housemates; all got here and settled in, Tensions rose, blood was drawn, and a few unlucky interns were fired! But this, this is just the beginning, on

Total

Drama

Island!

Hey mom and dad, I'm doin' fine.

Zooms in on the house

You guys are on my mind.

Zooms in the front door, shows Jack getting chased by vicious looking dog

You asked me what I wanted to be

Shows Lauren running around breaking stuff, and Sophie watching and shaking her head

And now I think the answer's, plain to see

Shows Courtney sleeping, Jack and Logan doing the whip cream- sneeze trick

I wanna be, famous

Shows Courtney chasing Jack and Logan

I wanna live close to the sun

Camera goes upstairs

Pack your bags, 'cuz I've already won

Shows Sophie writing in a diary, then shoving the camera away

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

Shows Eva lifting weights and Noah reading

I'll get there one day

Shows Sarah and Lillian having a arm wrestle

'cuz I wanna be, famous

Shows Courtney still chasing the two

Na, Nanana, nana nana, nanananananaaaaa

Shows Mick texting someone, and Trent trying to peer over the shoulder

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous

Shows Trent running away crying for some reason

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous

Shows everybody running up to the roof

-whistling-

Shows everybody looking at the sunset whistling

-guitar riff-

-fades out-

Chris: Yo! Welcome back! Today, our housemates will be awoken, and put to their first challenge. Then, the two winners, will become our captains, and will select the teams. Sound familiar? The time, is 4:45 AM, so…-pulls out megaphone- UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!

Logan: Ahh! What the-

Jeremy: -yawn- Mommie, I want cocoa puffs for brekky! Oh monkey skittles! I'm on TDL, right.

Nick: What time is it?

Noah: Four AM!

Trent: That dude doesn't care, -yawn-, about us, does he?

Noah: Where have you been?

-flashes to girls room-

Courtney: Ugh! No way! I am _not _getting up at 4 again!

Sarah: -yawn- Let's go see what this is all about.

Melissa: Sure.

Everybody walks downstairs to chef's kitchen, and chef tosses Trent an apple and a carton of milk.

Chef: That's breakfast.

Trent: For all of us?

Chef: Yep! Dig in.

Courtney: Okay, I say we cut even pieces, and pour the milk into-

She is interrupted by Lauren yanking the apple and milk, shoving and chugging them down.

Everyone: Lauren!

Lauren: What? I was hungry!

Chris: Hello, everybody! Time for your first challenge! Please follow me to the challenge room!

The sixteen campers all follow Chris to the downstairs as instructed.

Chris: Today's challenge? -opens door- the hunger-a-thon!

Nick: The what-a-th- OH MY GOD!

The challenge room was huge, bigger than any other floor. It had 2 fondue fountains, a nacho fountain, half a dozen wedding cakes, steaks, hamburgers, hotdogs, you name it. Chocolate cake, vanilla cake, anything……there was a lot of food, I guess, is what I'm trying to get across here.

Chris: You will sit in this room, for days, weeks, months, even, until two remain. The last two starving souls standing win team captains, and a special reward!

Mick: Wait, though. The human body can only go a few days without water.

Chris: Oh…right…well, each day, you'll get 2 bottles of water. You can come up and get them whenever, two a day. But they don't carry over.

Mick: Okay then…

Chris: Yeah. The author is having writer's block, so hopefully the awkwardness goes away eventually. Let the first challenge of Total Drama Life begin!

-silence-

Chris: -sigh- That means go.

The 16 housemates walk in, finding spots along walls, on the lucky few who get couches, try to sleep.

Chris: I forgot to mention this earlier, but the confessionals are in the bathrooms upstairs. But since you can't leave this room, we brought back an old memory! Paul! Bring it in!

An intern wheels in the confession cam from season one.

Chris: So, vent out your needs. Oh, and, -pulls out megaphone- NO SLEEPING!

Noah: GAHH! -falls off couch- Then shouldn't it be called the hunger-awake-thirst-boredom-a-thon?

Chris: Let the hunger-awake-thirst-boredom-a-thon begin!

The 16 start chatting, and don't care about the food.

Chris: They'll crack. You just watch.

Confessional, 5 minutes after Chris leaves:

Jeremy(standing on toilet seat, trying his best to get his face shown to the camera): This will be easy! I just got to not thinks about foods, and I can win! Ahh!

Jeremy slipped off the toilet seat, knocking the whole confessional over, breaking it, and spilling piss and crap everywhere.

Confessional Over

Courtney: Eeee! -jumps into Logan's arms-

Logan winks at Courtney, and squeezes her butt, followed by Courtney slapping him one, and pushing him into Chris.

Courtney: I am NOT falling for another bad boy.

Logan: Woah! -falls right to Chris' side, catching himself-

Chris: GET OFF ME! GOD DAMMIT JEREMY!

Jeremy bursts into tears.

Jeremy: DON'T HOLLER AT ME!

Sarah: Way to go McClean! -walks over and comforts Jeremy-

Jeremy:-sniffle sniffle-

Chris: Alright, the confessional is now this lame-ass janitors closet. Okay?

Chris duct tapes a video camera to the wall, throwing a fold up chair in there with it.

Chris: Now, if I may, goodbye.

Logan: Way to go Jeremy!

Nick: Yeah!

Jeremy: I _am _a pretty good actor.

Trent: Now that we've got his keys, thanks to Logan, -pulls out Chris keys-

Noah: Let's party! -takes keys, locks door-

The 16 all jump up, and start partying, dancing, talking, and a few even sleeping.

Chris, from surveillance room: What the? -runs out-

The 16 hear someone trying to open the door, and then followed by running and a huge battering ram breaking down the door.

Chris: CHALLENGE OVER! YOU ALL LOSE!

Mick: Hey, I didn't eat anything!

Chris: Did anybody else not eat?

Logan raises his hand.

Chris: Really? Because that nacho cheese on your cheek says otherwise.

Logan: Shit!

Chris: NEW CHALLENGE! Except for Mick. Mick, congratulations, you have won team captain, invincibility, and a surprise reward.

Mick: WOOHOO!

Everybody glares at him.

Mick: What? Not my : Follow me.

The 16 housemates follow Chris to there bedrooms.

Chris: Until we can get arrangements made for a_ new _challenge, you will all be staying here.

The boys and girls go to their own rooms, except for Lauren and Logan, who go to the opposite rooms. Logan sneaks under Courtney's bunk, and Lauren hides under Noah's bed.

The girls start talking about the boys.

Courtney: Ugh, that Logan guy is such a pervert. He squeezed my ass!

Lillian: But he is pretty hot.

A few off the girls nod their head in agreement.

Courtney: Hey, I need to change pants. I got chocolate on these.

Girls: (thinking): Holy shit! -scoots to watch-

Courtney starts to undress, then reaches under the bed to grab her bag, but instead grabs Logan's hand.

Logan: Hey babe.

Courtney: AHH! WHAT THE FUCK?

Logan runs out and dashes away, and runs in the boys room and hides under Noah's bunk, to be greeted by Lauren.

Logan: AHH! LAUREN?

Lauren: Shh! Noah's super cute! I got to talk to him _alone._

Logan: Noah! Conference!

Noah crawls under the bunk, and then Logan runs out and slides under Jeremy's bunk, whispering "cover me!"

Courtney bursts in, in bra and panties, and screams, "WHERE'S LOGAN?"

The guys are too busy staring to answer.

Courtney: Oh you pervs! Mick sits up and says,

Mick(pointing to open air vent, which he had just opened: Logan went up into this air vent.

Courtney: I'll get him!

Courtney scurries out. At the last second you can here a camera click. You see Nick with his phone camera, showing the guys pictures of Courtney in her underwear.

Chris, over an intercom: CHALLENGE TIME! MEET ME DOWN HERE IMMEDIATLEY!

The 16 all walk downstairs, to an open door. They walk in, and see a runway.

Chris: Fashion show time. Using your clothes, make a costume that will stun us. You can borrow clothes from people too. GO! Mick, you can watch, go back to your room, whatever.

Mick: I'll be on the roof, totally not texting my girlfriend.

The 15 remaining housemates start to make their clothes fashionable. 3 minutes later, Chris blows a whistle.

Chris: Time's up!

Jack: What? That was like, 3 minutes!

Chris: We're running out of time. Line up over there!

The 15 line up in a single file line.

Chris pulls a switch, and the lights go out, followed by lasers and spotlights all o n the runway.

Noah: And you did this all in ten minutes how?

Chris: Ignoring that comment, Nick!

Nick struts out in his clothes cut up into various weird fashions, and stops twirls, and then struts back.

Chris: 7. Next!

Lillian walks out with her clothes cut up, and a brown beret that she got from who knows where. Right when she got in front of Chris, she falls off, losing her balance.

Chris: 3. Next!

The contestants go on and on, falling, strutting, and more falling, until the last one, Sophie. She struts out, in a mini skirt, with white leggings, and a skin tight brown shirt, with the sleeves cut off to long white arm sleeves. Her hair is wavy, and complimented by a maroon headband. Her white fur boots add a finishing touch.

Chris: 19 out of 10. We have a winner!

Sophie: Woohoo!

Chris: Sophie, you win team captain, invincibility, and a night outing with Mick to a romantic dinner, dancing, and finally a night in one of the areas most hot clubs!

Sophie: Yes!

Chris: As for the rest of you, meet me back down here in 30 minutes.

**A/N: The next chapter will be the first ever elimination ceremony. It should be up later today. R&R!**


	4. The First Golden Key Ceremony

One by one, all the 14 contestants worked their way down to the challenge room, which was set up to look like an average living room. Chris walked out, and starts to speak.

Chris: Over the years, we have had marshmallows, chocolate, and peanuts. This season, keys represent life. When I call your name, come get your house key. If I do not call your name, you must walk out the Front Door of Shame, get in the Taxi of Losers, and never come back. EVER. First, Nicole.

The girl runs up happily, took her key, and sat back down.

Chris: Jeremy.

Jeremy ran up, grabbed his key, and started a speech.

Jeremy: I'd like to thank my mommie, my daddie, my-

Chris: -pushes Jeremy away- Eva, Noah and Trent.

The three walked up and each took a key.

Chris: Sarah. Nick. Jack. Lillian. Melissa. Courtney. Ryan. One key left.

Logan and Lauren look at each other.

Chris: Who's it gonna be? The final key goes to…both of you.

Both: What?

Chris: Yep. Nobody gets eliminated on the first day! You guys don't know each other enough.

Logan: So then-

Chris: This elimination was just to screw with you? Yes. Yes it was.

Logan: Hey, at least im safe.

Chris: Goodnight everybody. -leaves-

The 14 walk upstairs to see Mick and Sophie.

Courtney: How was it?

Sophie: Well, if you call a romantic dinner frozen pizza made by Chef, and Chef ate with us, and a club the recreation room, then it was awesome.

Melissa: Did you guys-

Mick: I have a girlfriend.

Chris: Hate to ruin anything here, but it's time to pick teams.

The 16 walked to the challenge room, with a red banner on one side, and a green banner on the other.

Chris: Mick, you get the red side, Sophie, you get the green.

The two walked to their respective sides.

Chris: We're gonna pick survivor style. Boy, girl, boy girl, etc. Sophie, you start.

Sophie: I pick Trent.

Trent walks over to the green side.

Mick: I got Courtney.

Courtney walks to red.

Trent: Uhh, Sarah.

Sarah walks over and stands next to Trent.

Courtney: I got Jeremy.

Jeremy waddles over next to Courtney.

Sarah: Let's see…I guess I'll take Logan.

Logan half walk half jogs over to green.

Jeremy: Nowa!

Noah walks over to his team.

Logan: Nicole, right?

Nicole nods and walks over to green.

Noah: I don't know…Lauren?

Lauren cartwheels over to her new team.

Nicole takes her whiteboard and scribbles on it "Jackson?"

Jack: It's Jack.

Nicole nods, and Jack walks over.

Lauren: Nick. Definitely Nick.

Nick: Yeah! -runs over, does backflip-

Jack: Eva.

The pyscho athlete walks over.

Nick: Melissa.

Melissa walks over.

Eva: Emo boy.

Ryan walks over.

Melissa: Lillian, I guess.

Lillian: You should have picked me much sooner. I'm gonna win this.

Chris: Yeah yeah yeah nobody cares about your hopes and dreams. This is Chris McClean, signing off, for

Total

Drama

Life!


	5. This Chapter Needs A Clever Title

Chris: Last time, on Total Drama Life! The 16 housemates were put to their first task. Well, more like first _two _tasks, because of that intern over there.

Intern: What? How is this my fault? They stole _your_ keys. I was just doing……whatever interns do.

Chris: Do you want to lose your job? Didn't think so. Anyways, Mick and Sophie emerged victorious. Their prizes were team captains, a "romantic" dinner, and a trip to the recreational room. After all that, the housemates were split into two teams, Red and Green. Original, huh? Find out what happens next, on

Total

Drama

Life!

Hey mom and dad, I'm doin' fine.

Zooms in on the house

You guys are on my mind.

Zooms in the front door, shows Jack getting chased by vicious looking dog

You asked me what I wanted to be

Shows Lauren running around breaking stuff, and Sophie watching and shaking her head

And now I think the answer's, plain to see

Shows Courtney sleeping, Jack and Logan doing the whip cream- sneeze trick

I wanna be, famous

Shows Courtney chasing Jack and Logan

I wanna live close to the sun

Camera goes upstairs

Pack your bags, 'cuz I've already won

Shows Sophie writing in a diary, then shoving the camera away

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

Shows Eva lifting weights and Noah reading

I'll get there one day

Shows Sarah and Lillian having a arm wrestle

'cuz I wanna be, famous

Shows Courtney still chasing the two

Na, Nanana, nana nana, nanananananaaaaa

Shows Mick texting someone, and Trent trying to peer over the shoulder

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous

Shows Trent running away crying for some reason

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous

Shows everybody running up to the roof

-whistling-

Shows everybody looking at the sunset whistling

-guitar riff-

-fades out-

The camera shows Chef's kitchen, all 16 housemates inside, sitting in their new teams.

Sarah: So Sophie, what was the rec room like?

Sophie: It was so cool! There was air hockey tables, arcade games, a basketball hoop, and even a TV.

Sarah: Wow! We have to win this challenge.

Chris: Alright then housemates! After your great meal of burnt toast and……whatever that is, comes the second challenge! Each day we will have a new challenge, alternating mental or physical each time. Today's challenge? Physical, a personal favorite of mine, laser tag! You will each get a laser gun, a vest, a helmet and a tracker. The gun obviously shoots, the vest is how to know how you get hit, and hidden somewhere in this house, is a device that shows where everybody is. Each person will have a tracker inside their vest. Whoever finds this device will be the only one to use it. If they die, it has to remain in their hand. If you get hit in the vest or gun, you lose a life. If you get in the head, you die instantly. Each person has five lives. Last person standing wins immunity for their team and a trip to the rec room. Got it?

Everyone: yes.

Chris: Oh, and each person gets 2 of these. -tosses grenades to everybody- They are grenades. Anything within a four foot radius of this loses all lives. Understand? Red base is the challenge room, Green base is the roof. You can use the whole house, except for the rec room. Come get your vests and guns, then go to your base.

_Red Base, 10:35 AM, 5 Minutes Later_

Nick: Alright guys, I say our strategy should be-

Lillian: Who made you team captain?

Mick: Yeah guys, I'm the captain.

Lillian: I say we take a standardized vote. Who is running?

Nick Mick and Lillian raise their hands.

Lillian: Who votes for me?

Lillian, Melissa and Lauren raise their hands.

Mick: Me?

Mick and Jeremy raise their hands.

Nick: And me.

Nick Noah and Courtney.

Nick: Okay, now Jeremy and Mick, me or Lillian?

Mick: I say Nick.

Jeremy: Wiwwean.

Nick: That means Nick! I win!

Jeremy: No that mweans wiwwian. Hwer.

Lillian: Yippee I won!

Nick: No, we tied. Rock Paper Scissors.

Lillian: Whatever. Best two out of three.

Lillian came out victorious.

Lillian: Yes Yes Yes!

Nick: So what's our strategy?

_Green Base, 10:35 AM_

Logan: Okay, guys, I nominate myself for team captain.

Jack: I nominate Eva.

Eva: Yeah, sure I guess.

Logan: I think I should be it.

Eva: Oh yeah? Why?

Logan: I've raided 22 laser tag birthday parties, been in 16 Airsoft wars, and got a 39 kill streak on Modern Warfare 2.

Eva: Ok, Logan's captain.

Logan: Time for our strategy.

_Red Base, 10:40 AM, 5 Minutes until start_

Lillian: Our strategy? Me, Jeremy and Melissa will stay here and defend from down here. Noah and Courtney, barge into Chef's kitchen, securing the area. Then Nick and Mick run up to the 3rd floor, securing the area. We will send Melissa as backup. The other team has to skip a floor because of the rec room. Seize the opportunity whenever you can. Everybody understand? Good. Let's do this thing.

_Green Base, 10:40 AM, 5 Minutes until start_

Logan: The strategy is to go all out. Sarah, Nicole and Trent guard the base. We need to keep our high ground. Jack Sophie and I will go and secure the third floor. We need Trent for backup. Sarah and Ryan, wait, where's Ryan?

Everybody starts searching for Ryan.

Logan: Oh well, Sarah, you leave the base and secure the stairs. Got it? Get ready.

_10:45 AM_

Chris: Housemates! Are you ready for the war? Begin!

The war starts with footsteps running everywhere. Jack, Sophie and Logan run down the stairs firing like the wildfire. The third floor was secured by Green. Sarah was standing in the hall, when she saw Nick and Mick. She reacted instantly, hitting Mick once and Nick twice. The two fled back to red base.

Lillian: What are buffoons doing?

Nick: Green is up there!

Lillian: What? Ok, we go back in 2 minutes, using our grenades.

2 Minutes Later…

Mick: Go Go Go Go Go!

Red flew up the stairs and threw 3 grenades in the third floor. The grenades flew in, and took Sophie out. Jack and Logan dodged them, and responded by shooting Mick out. Logan used walkie talkies to phone Sarah and Trent, who came flying down the stairs and took out Nick and Lillian.

_Standings: Green- 6 Red- 4_

The Green started to celebrate, thinking they had taken out the first wave of soldiers, until 2 single grenades bounced in the room, eliminating Jack Sarah and Trent, Logan just barely getting out of the way. Jeremy Melissa and Noah run in, patrolling the area. Logan jumps out, shooting Noah in the head and using a grenade on Jeremy.

Logan: BRING IT ON RED!

Lauren: You asked for it.

Lauren took one shot, a perfect blow to Logan's head.

Logan: What? No! I can't lose! That missed!

Chris: -over intercom- After reviewing it, Logan is correct. It did not hit the censor dead on, so Logan loses one life instead.

Logan uses his last grenade to take out Melissa and Lauren.

Logan: I win! That's everybody! Haha!

Nicole walked up behind him, took one shot and eliminated him.

Logan: What? NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! WE CAN'T LOSE!

That's when Ryan jumps out of a hidden annex in the ceiling, does a flip and shoots Nicole right between the eyes.

Ryan: I'll have what he's having.

The Green team starts cheering out crazily, and pick up Ryan and start chanting, "Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!"

Chris: Emo boy did it!

Ryan: I'm not only emo, I'm otaku as well.

Chris: Otaku-ninja boy did it! And nice cheesy quote at the end.

Ryan: Thank y-OOOOOO!

Ryan was cut off by his team dropping him on his butt.

Chris: Ha! Somebody tell Geoff, because That's Gonna Leave a Mark!

You can see Geoff at home, sitting on a big couch making out with Bridgette, then giving a thumbs up to the camera.

Chris: Green team, you've won immunity, and an all expense paid trip to the rec room!

Green: Yeah! -cheers-

Chris: And as for you, the red team. Looks like you lose. Tonight it is time to vote off one of your one. Actually, you won't be voting. The _audience will. _

Courtney: What!?!?

Chris: Yes, I and the author, I mean the producers; think that the fans should make decisions, not you. Sucks for you!

Courtney: Yes, it _does _suck.

Chris: At the end, the green team emerged victorious! The red team needs your help to vote somebody off! Nobody is immune, so pick from Courtney, Noah, Lauren, Mick, Nick, Melissa, Jeremy or Lillian! And we will see you next time, on,

Total

Drama

Life!

**A/N: So I finally finished this chapter. It took three days, but it's done. I wont make any promises, but I will try my hardest not to quit this. It would have been finished sooner, but, sadly,I had school. D: And still have it. Lucky me.**


	6. The Second Golden Key Ceremony

**The unlucky 8 red team members all sat in the living room, looking around nervously, wondering who will go home first. And then Chris walks in.**

**Chris: Good evening, everyone!**

**Everyone just mumbles or says nothing.**

**Chris: Welcome, to the second ever, Golden Key Ceremony****Ô! You 8 will be voted out by the fans, and, oh! The results are in! First up, is Jeremy!**

**Jeremy runs up, trips, and knocks over all the keys.**

**Jeremy: Whoopsies. Sowwy chris.**

**Chris: -sigh- just go sit back down.**

**Jeremy does so, as Chris reads off the next 3 names.**

**Chris: Nick, Mick, Lauren.**

**The three ran up and got there rewards.**

**Chris: Aaaaannndddd……Noah.**

**Noah walks up, takes his key and sits down.**

**Chris: 3 housemates left, two keys. Lillian.**

**Lillian takes her reward.**

**Chris: Melissa, Courtney, who's it gonna be?**

**-dramatic music starts-**

**The two look nervously at each other.**

**Chris: The final key goes to..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**..**

**Melissa.**

**Courtney: WHAT? YOU CAN'T VOTE OUT ME! I'M THE BEST COMPEITITOR HERE!**

**Chris: Must have been some rooters of other teams, dude. Sucks to be you.**

**Courtney: I'll sue the pants off of you! I've done it before I'll do it again!**

**That was the last thing she said before Chef carried her out of the house and into the cab of losers.**

**Chris: So, today we all learned a valuable lesson. 1, never underestimate an emo ninja boy. 2, even if you're the most popular character, you can still get voted out. See you all next time, on**

**Total**

**Drama**

**Life!**


End file.
